It has not been an easy year. I am totally aware that it’s not been an easy year for anyone, but I feel like I’m struggling right now because for the first time in a long time, and for a whole host of reasons, I don’t really have anything to focus my energy on. My confidence has taken a knock over the last eighteen months and I’m finding myself shutting down in response to things that used to be water off a duck’s back.
I’d like to stop doing that if possible. I waste so much of my day doing things because they’re distracting me from how I’m feeling, instead of doing them because I enjoy them. My hope is that if I can take a moment to acknowledge how I’m feeling and try to let it go in the moment, I’ll be able to do more of the things I actually enjoy.
I noticed a short ‘mindfulness of eating’ practice on the app as well which I have no expectations for, but it’ll be interesting to see if and how that changes any of my eating habits. There’s also one about inviting stillness, and a lot of stuff that focusses on existing in the moment, which I’m not too sure about. I know I’m not going to fix everything overnight by listening to some audio recordings, but maybe I’ll find a foundation for a more practical coping mechanism that I can build on my own.
I am hoping that mindfulness practices will offer me something to steady my feet so that I can start to focus on the things that make me happy again.
If I’m being truly sceptical, I am excited that over the next few weeks I’ll have set aside fifteen minutes-ish every few days to actually pay attention to what’s going on in my body and brain. If I get nothing else out of this, taking that time for myself can’t be a negative habit to form. But if I’m being optimistic, I’d like to find a set of tools that I can circle back to when things start to feel overwhelming and I reach for a distraction. I am hoping that mindfulness practices will offer me something to steady my feet so that I can start to focus on the things that make me happy again.
This is part 3 of a series entitled ‘A Sceptic’s guide to entering the World of Mindfulness’.